Always game for a lively outing with loved ones, I readily agreed.
Less than an hour later, I was armed with rudimentary climbing advice and enthusiastic words of encouragement, securely strapped to a sturdy rope that was ultimately attached to about 100 pounds of Sarah. Some 30 vertical feet of sporadically placed black plastic "rocks" attached to a wall loomed overhead.
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| Photo courtesy of https://frictionlabs.com. |
Just one small detail: I have a significant fear of heights. You know, cold sweats and loss of breath near ladders, roofs, the edges of anything over about 1.5 feet.
About halfway up my first* climb, I wondered if my limbs were trembling from being ridiculously petrified or the demands of a new type of muscle exertion. (It was probably both.)
Whatever what I thinking?
I was finding my fear.
We know about the "fight or flight" response to fear. We are told to face our fears. We instinctively recoil from fears.
What if we make friends with our fears instead? Get to know them just a bit.
After all, fear is important and useful, providing it isn't irrational or misplaced. When fear works for us, it helps keep us safe, avoid danger and make prudent decisions. However, unbridled, it can lock us in limiting mental cages and make us miserable.
When fears are too often irrational, we lose respect for them. We let them run us ragged. We dismiss them, and they no longer serve their purpose. We miss the red flags raised by a new boyfriend. We shake off the weird vibe from the neighbor down the street. We stay stuck in our jobs and relationships, because of our fears of assertion and uncertainty.
So, instead running from or forcing ourselves to aggressively conquer fear, maybe we simply observe and sit with it when we are presented with a positive and logically safe opportunity to do so. Maybe we give calm thought to how long we have had a particular fear, where it might have come from and exactly what we are afraid of.
* Notice that it was my FIRST climb. I managed to tackle more than one, but I also honored my limits. And, I had a great time with my family!
